Hopefully you will have a good relationship with your child so that when he or she starts to grow up into a teenager you should not have too many problems. But, if like the rest of us, you need a little bit of help in dealing with your little teenage rebel, then read on for help is at hand.

No matter how wonderful your relationship has been up until now, there is no question that children do change. Around about puberty, which can be as early as age nine or ten, especially in girls, or can be as late as fourteen in some kids, their attitudes start to change. And is it any wonder really? The body goes through such huge confusing changes at around this time that the mind can find it very difficult to keep up with things.

This is the time that your darling little angel, who promised never to be like their older sibling, starts to be exactly like their older sibling. They start to develop the exact same whiny tone. You start getting the blame for everything and start to get criticized for absolutely everything that you do too – especially if it is in front of their friends!

This is also around the time that you hear the phrase ‘Oh you’re so embarrassing!’ for the first time. You have been changing their nappy, wiping their nose, you have been standing around in front of a bush on the side of a busy road because they absolutely had to go wee-wee for over a decade, and now, just the way that you are standing is embarrassing – or your hair, or your clothes, or, well, just all of you really.

A good way to judge when ‘that time’ is near is the kissing goodbye index. Up until seven or eight, you can’t drop your child off anywhere without getting enthusiastic and very squishy kisses and hugs and lots of “I love you’s”. Then, at around nine or ten is when they start to pull away when you bend down to kiss them. Their eyes widen in shock as if you are going to wave your underwear at them or something and they try to push you out of the door before anyone gets the chance to see that they actually have a parent at all, let alone such a giant embarrassing blob like you!

So, how to cope? There are many ways to try to hang on to the semblance of a relationship.

1. Talk, talk, talk! Keep the lines of communication open as much as you can. Talk about anything and everything. It is best to keep nagging and scolding to a minimum if you can.
2. Listen, listen, and listen! Hopefully it should not just be the sound of your voice in the conversation with a few grunts from them. Try to leave some awkward pauses so that they are compelled to answer you.
3. You have probably had some very strict rules about bedtimes and chores, etc up until now, but it may be time to slacken off a bit. Let them set their own bedtime a bit more, or read a bit in bed. Give them some leeway. If by some miracle, you have survived up until now without any rules or boundaries, then it is time to get some in place, quick!
4. This is absolutely not the time to try to befriend your lovely little monster. Time and time again, it has been shown very clearly that what children need more than anything are real parents, not grown-ups who are more childish than themselves.
5. It is a very good idea to nurture any talents or hobbies that they might be interested in. If it is possible to get through the teenage years simply ferrying someone around from point A to point B without too many traumas, then it is all good.
6. Even better, try to find things to do together. Go for walks, or take up a sport. Having an interest together can be very rewarding and set you up for many years together. Involving each other in a mutual activity can not only give you something to talk about, but you can find out a lot about each other when you do things which are out of the usual daily grind.

Keep trying. It will be hard, that is without a doubt, but hopefully, with some good practices which you can both stick to, it might be at the easy end of hard rather than like swimming through treacle and wanting to chew your own leg off to stop the pain.