If a child has uncontrolled anger management issues then these can be a problem not only for them, but for the whole family too. Everyone in the family suffers no matter whether it is a small child or toddler who has this problem or whether it is a teenager.

Parents must recognize whether anger management is going to become a problem in their lives early on. If their tiny baby is having a problem controlling his anger then it can seem to be a trivial matter, but if left unchecked, this problem will keep growing and growing and growing.

Young children, it has to be said, are very good at manipulating their peers and particularly their parents. They know how to push just the right buttons and they know how to play one parent off against the other. Unless the parents present a united front to the child, then the child will soon learn when they can get their way, either by whining and moaning for endless hours, or by having a tantrum. These tantrums can occur anywhere from the living room floor, to the middle of the nearest toy store. If they see that they can have an effect at all by having an outburst of anger, then they will try it.

The parent’s reaction is often one of acute embarrassment and the need to shush the child up as quickly as possible and get out of there as fast as possible. Most people will be faced with this situation at least once a week because none of us has the luxury of being able to leave our little loved one somewhere, so they have to come shopping with us.

The key to management of this type of behavior is to 1. Be Consistent and 2. Plan Ahead. Being consistent is very difficult. If you say ‘no’ to something, then you both have to stick to it, and not give in. Children will try anything if they want something from you and having a tantrum in the middle of aisle five is just one of their weapons. Remember, ‘No’ means ‘no’. If they see that it never works and once you have said it there is no going back, then they will save their energy. If sometimes you mean ‘maybe’, sometimes you forget and buy them a treat, or you feel guilty etc, then they will wind you round their little finger. Planning ahead means you could all eat first before going shopping so there is no begging for sweets. You could promise them a treat if they first do this one thing, or you can involve them in shopping by getting them to write the list, etc.

Teenage anger is a little more difficult to deal with. Brooding silences, sulking behavior, or shouting and door slamming are just some of the things which come with the territory. With teenage anger management, it is first important to know what they are angry about. Their anger may be displaced, so that even they do not know what it is about. In order to be in a position to do this, you have to talk to them. So that when they are shouting and screaming at you about forgetting to wash their favorite t-shirt, you might have an idea that they have just had a disappointing test result, or been turned down for the track team. The better relationship you have with them before their teenage years, the better you will be prepared. Good Luck!

Hopefully you will have a good relationship with your child so that when he or she starts to grow up into a teenager you should not have too many problems. But, if like the rest of us, you need a little bit of help in dealing with your little teenage rebel, then read on for help is at hand.

No matter how wonderful your relationship has been up until now, there is no question that children do change. Around about puberty, which can be as early as age nine or ten, especially in girls, or can be as late as fourteen in some kids, their attitudes start to change. And is it any wonder really? The body goes through such huge confusing changes at around this time that the mind can find it very difficult to keep up with things.

This is the time that your darling little angel, who promised never to be like their older sibling, starts to be exactly like their older sibling. They start to develop the exact same whiny tone. You start getting the blame for everything and start to get criticized for absolutely everything that you do too – especially if it is in front of their friends!

This is also around the time that you hear the phrase ‘Oh you’re so embarrassing!’ for the first time. You have been changing their nappy, wiping their nose, you have been standing around in front of a bush on the side of a busy road because they absolutely had to go wee-wee for over a decade, and now, just the way that you are standing is embarrassing – or your hair, or your clothes, or, well, just all of you really.

A good way to judge when ‘that time’ is near is the kissing goodbye index. Up until seven or eight, you can’t drop your child off anywhere without getting enthusiastic and very squishy kisses and hugs and lots of “I love you’s”. Then, at around nine or ten is when they start to pull away when you bend down to kiss them. Their eyes widen in shock as if you are going to wave your underwear at them or something and they try to push you out of the door before anyone gets the chance to see that they actually have a parent at all, let alone such a giant embarrassing blob like you!

So, how to cope? There are many ways to try to hang on to the semblance of a relationship.

1. Talk, talk, talk! Keep the lines of communication open as much as you can. Talk about anything and everything. It is best to keep nagging and scolding to a minimum if you can.
2. Listen, listen, and listen! Hopefully it should not just be the sound of your voice in the conversation with a few grunts from them. Try to leave some awkward pauses so that they are compelled to answer you.
3. You have probably had some very strict rules about bedtimes and chores, etc up until now, but it may be time to slacken off a bit. Let them set their own bedtime a bit more, or read a bit in bed. Give them some leeway. If by some miracle, you have survived up until now without any rules or boundaries, then it is time to get some in place, quick!
4. This is absolutely not the time to try to befriend your lovely little monster. Time and time again, it has been shown very clearly that what children need more than anything are real parents, not grown-ups who are more childish than themselves.
5. It is a very good idea to nurture any talents or hobbies that they might be interested in. If it is possible to get through the teenage years simply ferrying someone around from point A to point B without too many traumas, then it is all good.
6. Even better, try to find things to do together. Go for walks, or take up a sport. Having an interest together can be very rewarding and set you up for many years together. Involving each other in a mutual activity can not only give you something to talk about, but you can find out a lot about each other when you do things which are out of the usual daily grind.

Keep trying. It will be hard, that is without a doubt, but hopefully, with some good practices which you can both stick to, it might be at the easy end of hard rather than like swimming through treacle and wanting to chew your own leg off to stop the pain.

Imagine this situation: Mum and Dad have two young children. At the end of the day, Dad comes home, hoping to watch the six o’clock news. The children are running about, making a lot of noise. Dad calls out to Mum in the other room. ‘You’re at home with these children all the time. Can’t you do something about this noise? I work all day and I’d like to come home just once in a while and have a little peace and quiet.’ This father believes that it is the mother’s responsibility to make sure the children are quiet when he is there.

In a minor variation of the same situation, Mum may come home from work to hear Dad say, ‘These children have been a terror today, and I want you to do something about it!’ he believes that the mother has responsibility to deal out the punishment and may have threatened the children with ‘Just wait until your mother gets home!’

Some parents believe that ‘boy problems’ are Dad’s responsibility while ‘girl problems’ are Mum’s. A mother will say `Can’t you do something with that son of yours?’ while the father suggests, ‘You’d better have a talk with your daughter.’ Such division of parental responsibility is inefficient for dealing with child problems. We advocate an equal relationship, with shared roles and responsibilities.

A family is built upon a complex system of situations between parents, children and often relatives. It should be apparent that a child’s behavior is unlikely to change if only one family member modifies his or her reactions while the others continue on as before. If we want any behavioral change program to be effective, it must include all members of the family, specifying the part each person plays in the situation, what they must do, and how they must change. Everybody can be involved in the planning by sitting down together and talking it over, so that everyone knows what is going on.

Weight loss is a slow process. Pounds do not suddenly disappear, and any person changing their eating habits needs all the encouragement possible. With all family members involved and on a positive focus, there can be lots of social rewards for exercising, eating smaller portions, and giving up high-calorie foods.

Thus, regardless of the behavior to be changed, you need to be sure that all family members are involved, know how to socially reward the desired behavior, and follow through. Treat it as a family project where nobody feels excluded. It is particularly important that no family member suffers by a program to change another’,s behavior, because the likely reaction to an undeserved penalty is to sabotage the program.

How do you get other children in the family to co-operate with a behavioral change program, rather than ridicule the child involved or sabotage parents’ efforts? It’s no secret that children enjoy teasing and annoying each other, and may even be delighted when the other one gets into trouble with their parents. In short, children can develop an acute sense of negative focus by eagerly picking away at anything they know will irritate a brother or sister., The end result is that Mum or Dad must play referee. When dealing with a specific behavioral problem, we want to be sure that not only Mum and Dad, but also the brother and/or sister, have a positive focus on the improved behavior. Reward sharing provides a reason for the other child to encourage a change in behavior rather than hinder it.

Choosing the reward to share must be done carefully. It has to be something that everybody likes and it must he special — that is, something which doesn’t occur very often. In other words, it is not already a regular part of family entertainment. If it’s routine to go out for a meal every Friday night, don’t suddenly insist that one child has to behave correctly or nobody goes out. That puts everybody in the position of being punished if the child in question does not immediately perform well. It may result in great pressure from brothers or sisters who don’t want to be cheated out of their normal fun. Once the special family reward has been selected, behavior is then recorded and socially rewarded, step-by- step. Possibly points or stars can be used until a desired goal is reached. Then the family can share the special reward.

The emphasis is not on if the goal is going to be reached, but when. Parents should also avoid planning shared rewards that are time limited, running out at a certain date and placing a child under pressure Cif James gets 50 points by Sunday, we can all go to the beach’). Instead, it should be planned to allow the child to achieve success at his or her own pace (When James has collected 50 points, we can all have a day at the beach’).

In the first exam Dad set up a shared reward for the boys and specified the behavior required, but expected a perfect record by t he next weekend. When Wayne carried out his task for three out of five days, he got no reward for his partial success. Dick was completely faithful to the task, yet he too got no reward. Dad set it up so that any failure on Wayne’s part would automatically result in punishment for both boys, regardless of how well Dick did his job. Conflict between the two boys • can certainly be expected. David’s Dad, in the second example, sets up a shared reward system for both boys. No one is left out, and both are earning points towards separate family goals. Dad has set no time limit, sop he rewards any improvement in David’s efforts. The boys know that eventually they will be going to a cricket match. Alto Joel is likely to show more interest in David’s success and may even remind him to take care of his pet. Remember, in :a good reward sharing plan, you must he sure that the child:ren are sharing rewards and not being punished through denial of an expected reward. Keep in mind that rewards are a personal thing. With children of very different ages, you may have to do some searching for a reward that interests everybody! It is certainly desirable to ask, and to discuss with the children, which rewards would make everybody happy.

Besides being helpful in changing one child’s behaviour, there are also broader family benefits of reward sharing There is a shift toward a more positive focus and away from a ‘failure’ orientation. In addition, such joint efforts tend to give the family a sense of unity through working together

What kinds of material rewards do you value? The list might include a nice home, clothes, jewelry, cars, perfume, and boats – just about anything money will buy! Of course children have their prized rewards too: sweets, biscuits, dolls, toys. Material rewards (as we use the term) are tangible objects that have some economic value.

There is another very important type of reward – the social variety. Social rewards are intangible, cost nothing, and there is no limit to the supply. Some of the most important rewards for children are attention, praise, smiles, affection, touching and laughter. When it comes to social rewards, it is interesting to note that adults respond to the same things that children like. In fact, most of our adult interactions and relationships are based upon social rewards.

There are also a few rewards that seem to fit into both categories, material objects that have primarily social value., such as gold stars, points, or marks. For adults, status, position, titles, and maybe even medals, qualify.

Social rewards are far more important than material rewards in changing behavior. Most of us would like to have lots of material possessions! Wealth can indeed make life easier, but happiness and feelings of satisfaction with life depend upon a great deal more than just material wealth. Social interactions – that is human relationships – give life its warmth and vitality. No one ever gets tired of friendship, love, appreciation, concern, or interest from others!

Never underestimate the power of social rewards. Long term change doesn’t come about from sweets and biscuits or gold stars. Meaningful behavior change comes from relating to children with love and care.

Theuse or non-use of money for school achievements is not really the issue here. Some parents feel happy about giving a ‘bonus’ for good marks, while others do not. The point is that, whether or not money is used, the real reward in terms of the parent-child relationship is the social reward. That is the one that will have the greatest long-term effects. We should note that the use of a material bonus for children’s achievements is in no way different from what happens with many adults who get something special for a ‘job well done’. Any kind of bonus is in part a social reward too, since it calls attention to the person’s behavior and singles it out for recognition. But, like the child example, a bonus paid to Dad or Mum by the boss personally, with a pal on the back and a comment about how good a job has been done, will certainly have more effect than just a cheque that shows up in a pay envelope without comment.

We sometimes hear young people say, `My dad was OK I suppose but he didn’t give anything of himself. Oh, he would give me money and buy me things, but there was no feeling between us,’ Or from a father, ‘After all I did for my son he still doesn’t seem to respect but don’t understand it. I bought him everything he wanted.’ Obviously material rewards are not enough!

When we were children, many households had a ready supply of biscuits, lemonade or squash, which were often used as rewards (for doing jobs, keeping ‘out from under foot’, small successes at school or in sports). At that time, there was not the variety of ‘children’s treats’ on the market which there is today. With a tremendous range of biscuits, sweets and cakes and drinks available now, a parent cannot assume that a biscuit will have the value for children that it did when we were young.

Obvious? Perhaps, but we have seen parents become astonished when a child rejected a ‘reward’ that was offered. The parent considered the item as a reward; the child’s reaction demonstrated clearly that it was not!

When Grandpa was a child, getting a penny from his parents or grandparents was a big treat and he remembers it vividly, so he assumes that his grandchildren will consider it a great reward.

It is simply an economic fact that today’s penny is not worth much. When Grandpa was a youngster, it might have purchased a respectable amount of sweets. To these children his suggestion of a ‘big surprise’ evidently meant something else.

Often bedtime is also a time of conflict since children don’t like to get ready for bed and leave adult company. It is a rare young child who admits to being tired and wanting to go to bed! In this case the big surprise turned out to be no real surprise at all, leaving the children upset and perhaps feeling cheated, and Grandpa hurt and perplexed. His gesture of love was not seen by the children as generous, despite his caring intent.

This type of outcome happens in different ways at different ages. Parents sometimes offer ‘dinner out’ as a reward, having in mind a nice restaurant. But where do the children want to go? A pizza house or fast food place! Besides avoiding the assumption that children will like what parents like (or did like when they were children), we need to keep in mind the tastes of individual children.

if parents are to be effective in the use of rewards, they need to do a lot of questioning, observing, and testing to find out who likes what. We just can’t make assumptions about what others like. There is no universal reward for all people of all ages. As parents, we can’t assume that children necessarily like what we like, that what one child likes will be liked by another that children’s preference will not change over time. or that the sex of the child will tell you what he or she might like. This point is summed up nicely in a recent popular slogan: ‘Different strokes for different folks’.

When we talk about rewards and their use with children, a common reaction from parents is, ‘Why, you’re talking about a system of bribes!’ This concern is expressed so often that we want to give it special attention.

Suggesting the use of rewards with children is nothing new – it is the systematic, planned use of rewards t hat is important. All of us spend our lives in a constantly changing system of rewards – from early parental hugs and affection to gold stars in school, and on to grade marks and certificates. As adults we have salary scales, promotions, status, as well as interpersonal rewards from relationships with family and friends. It seems when people express a concern about ‘bribes’ it is not the idea of reward that they are objecting to, but the specific use of money as a reward, or objects purchased with money. Note, however, that hardly anyone does not consider a salary from work to be a bribe, nor do parents think of weekly pocket- money for their children as a bribe. And it is ridiculous to think of a hug, or a smile, or other spontaneous expression of love as a bribe!

So ‘bribe’ is really a loaded word. To most people the word suggests some kind of shady deal, a payment for something that shouldn’t really be clone. ‘Reward’ and ‘bribe’ then, arc not the same thing. A reward is a tangible expression of approval. A bribe is a payment for something ‘illegal’ or of questionable ethics.

With parents, this problem seems to come up most in situations where they assume the child ’should’ do something because of ‘duty’ or self-motivation. In such situations parents often see any sort of reward as being unnecessary or excessive, especially if the child doesn’t want to do something a parent thinks he or she should want to do. They may even feel that what the child really needs is a good smack. Yet we must remember that all of its do things because of the rewards involved – some immediate, some distant, some from our– selves, some from others. Children are no different.

We have heard parents protest, ‘Well, once you start re– warding children they won’t want to do anything without a reward. Are you going to follow them around the rest of their lives giving out rewards?’ Of course not. We do not suddenly ’start’ rewarding children. Their world is already full of rewards (and punishments). Parents can become systematic, however, by using those rewards which are preferred by individual children to motivate them toward desired behavior.

A child who is not learning to read may dislike reading because of the experience of failure. The parent may think the child should ‘want’ to read. If nothing is done, the result is a non-reading child, who falls further behind. Instead, the parent or teacher can use some kind of simple reward, such as points, tokens, or gold stars, to get the child to start reading and to motivate practice. As the child succeeds, that reward will no longer be necessary because reading itself, and the wonderful horizons it offers, become rewarding. Nobody has to follow a reading child around for the rest of his or her life rewarding reading! However you may have to provide an extra incentive to the non-reader for those first attempts, in order to get that child started. All parents are rewarded in a variety of ways for the things they do. Some of the ways are obvious (such as money or fame), and some are much harder to see but no less effective (self-congratulations or the respect of valued friends). These are not bribes for us, nor are our children’s prized rewards bribes for them! Systematic rewards merely bring the natural learning process under a degree of control.

These days the average American household prepares and eats dinner at home fewer than three nights a week. It’s tough to squeeze in trips to the grocery store between work, school, ballet lessons, soccer practice, and karate. However, despite the busy schedules of today’s families, making time for dinner does not have to be a burden, it just requires planning. Involve your children in planning a menu for the next three or four weeks. If grade school cafeterias can figure it out, so can you. Let your kids help you make the menu and create a grocery list so that shopping can be more efficient and less of a hassle.

Aside from the benefit of eating healthy, a meal eaten together at home can be time spent enjoying your family. Think of the meal preparation time and the sit-down eating time as a down payment on your relationship with your children and on their emotional health. Combine lessons in food preparation, food safety, and manners with quality time. Children like tasks in which they can fully participate and tasks they can see through to completion. After they’ve washed their hands, get your children involved in the mealtime process by letting them measure and mix ingredients; younger children can set and clear the table. Perhaps most importantly, praise your kids for their contribution to the meal.

“When we found out I was pregnant, we were thrilled and just couldn’t wait for it to happen soon enough. We laughed at everyone asking if we were ready for the night feeds – we thought we’d cope quite happily. Our daughter’s now five months old, and the thought of those night feeds isn’t so funny any more. It seems as if everything is about getting her off to sleep and catching up on sleep ourselves.”

“I don’t think it’s getting the baby off to sleep that’s hard to do, it’s getting enough sleep ourselves. It’s even worse with two children. You get one off to sleep and then the baby will wake for a feed. You just feel you’re acting like a robot – baby crying, get up, settle the baby, snatch 40 winks, baby crying, get up, and on, and on, and on.”

If you’re already a parent, you’ll recognise how these parents feel. A baby’s sleep patterns are totally unlikely to fit in with ours. We adults need our sleep and sleep deprivation can be very debilitating for even the strongest among us. Without it, we can be at least grumpy and grouchy. At worst, it can leave us questioning our ability to cope with normal, everyday things. Even concentrating long enough to have a simple conversation with a friend can seem like a mammoth task. And even if, were you to sit down and add up the figures, you found that you were getting seven or eight hours’ sleep in total, it’s the interruptions to the sleep that actually cause the problem.

Stress and emotional effects
A baby crying at night also causes stress. If this is your first baby, you are guaranteed to be doubly anxious about your baby’s every whimper. So no wonder being woken by crying causes your heart to beat quicker, and your breath to shorten. At worst, this stress can cause physical ailments, such as constant headaches and ulcers.

A constant lack of sleep can send your emotions up the wall too. You might feel down and irritable, angry because you feel you’re not coping, or even angry at the baby for keeping you awake. Remember, these are all normal emotions that you are quite entitled to feel. But don’t take your anger out on your baby. She’s an innocent who isn’t aware of the effect her crying has on you, except that it brings you to her. Accept that parenting is a difficult and demanding job for every parent, and thankfully, there are a great many things you can do to help you feel better and to keep the effects of stress at bay.

- Eat a healthy diet, one that is full of fibre and protein-rich foods to give you the energy to cope. Even if you are too tired to cook a five-course meal, there are lots of quick, snack-type foods that will fit the bill, for example, baked beans, baked potatoes, pasta, fruit and vegetables, and wholegrain breakfast cereals. Remember to drink plenty of water and fruit juice too, especially if you’re breastfeeding baby.

- Don’t expect too much of yourself. Ask for help, and accept help when it’s offered.

- Exercise a little, each day if you can. Although you may be exhausted, keeping your body in shape will help you cope with the physical demands of looking after a baby. Even going for a brisk walk with the pram or running up the stairs, which you’re probably climbing many times a day anyway, will serve the purpose.

- Remember you have needs too. Make some time for yourself, even if it’s only half an hour relaxing in the bath or reading.
- Keep smiling and try to laugh about the situation because it will get better in time!

Your relationship

Interrupted sleep caused by a crying baby can make for strained relationships between couples. When they’re feeling worn out through lack of sleep and the pressures of caring for a baby, it’s normal for couples to blame each other when the baby cries, or to argue about whose turn it is to get up to see to the baby.

It’s normal too for mums to feel resentful towards their partner because, although parent roles may have changed in recent years, mum is normally the one to bear the greatest burden of the baby’s care. To help couples through the tiring times, mums need to make sure right from the start that dad feels included, and is an important person in caring for baby. Making sure he takes an active role will not only help to share the burden but is also very important in helping him to forge his own special relationship with the baby.

- Never blame each other. Care for your baby as a unit, sharing all the responsibilities and household chores as much as possible.

- However close you were before the birth, don’t expect your partner to be able to read your mind. Let each other know if there is a problem and share your feelings.

- Make time for each other and talk about your day. Go to bed together, early if you can.

- Whenever possible, take in it turns to mind the baby during the day so that you can both have opportunities to catch up on your sleep.

Most importantly, try to maintain your sense of humour! Your baby’s sleep patterns should become more predictable as the months go by, so things will improve.

All too frequently parents devote their entire lives to the children. As soon as the first one comes home from the hospital, a couple’s lifestyle changes completely. Long romantic dinners, sleeping in on weekends, last minute plans with friends, or even a few hours of peace and quiet to watch a movie at home together can sometimes become what dreams are made of.

Many parents, however, feel obligated to provide this level of never ending dedication to their children from day one – much to the detriment of their relationship and even their marriage. Yet it doesn’t need to be this way, and it shouldn’t be.

If you can’t remember the last time you and your spouse had dinner together, alone, with no interruptions ¨C you are heading for trouble. Alone time is just as important after children as before. It doesn’t always need to be in a restaurant with candles and wine, but the more often you can manage these times together, the better.

Yes, babysitters can be expensive, and you can only rely on family and neighbors for so long. However, if you don’t make an effort to find opportunities to be together without the kids, even if it’s only once a week or so this lack of togetherness will become a source of heated contention. Too many wives find out the hard way that their husbands have felt neglected because the wife needs to spend all her free time with the kids.

Depending on the age of your children, you have a few options. Agreeably, working around the needs and demands of a colicky newborn can be more difficult than a few ‘tweens who demand rides to the mall and soccer practice. Nevertheless, with a little planning and even a little sacrifice where the kids are concerned, everyone can be happy.

One of the major problems that leads to fights and unhappiness in a marriage is the assumption that all activities need to include the kids. They don’t! It is perfectly acceptable to head off to outings, parties, restaurants, etc., without the children in tow. It is even acceptable to entertain at your own home without the kids being involved. To pull this off successfully, however, you need to train yourselves and your children early on that this is the way things are.

Humans are social beings meaning men and women can’t really live alone. The much used phrase “no man is an island” refers to the fact that humans are perpetually learning. Almost everyone needs help from someone to be guided through ups and downs in life, help them make the right decision and so on. As humans grow older they get a chance to guide someone younger and inexperienced. This helps keep people connected and loved and instills the feeling of importance, to the learner as a student and to the learned as a mentor.

Mentoring helps strengthen the bond between the mentor and the protégé and helps their mutual growth. A mentor is one who is more experienced, though not necessarily aged, but certainly wiser and is ready to impart the knowledge they have gained to others. A protégé or mentee is one who is inexperienced, is eager to climb the ladder of experience with only a little guidance. The mentorship concept has been known since the existence of mankind. Homer’s odyssey first coined the term “mentor” from its character by that name. Mentor though being a debilitated old man himself is used by the Goddess of Wisdom, Athenato guide Odysseus’s son Telemachus when he passes through difficult times.

Mentorship has taken different forms in different periods and cultures in history. Ancient Greeks followed pederasty, wherein teachers honed young men to greatness. Hindu and Buddhist religions follow the concept of guru; a religious wise man leads as the spiritual guide for anyone seeking the eternal Truth. Judaism and Christianity have discipleship in known history as well as current practices. Here too a clergy or deeply spiritual person guides the followers through the path of spiritual enlightenment. Finally in the medieval period a financial system was built to help apprentices learn from guild masters, which also ensured tat their respective crafts were carried on after them.

There are many mentor-protégé relationships since known history. Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle are greatest of the examples in this regard. These great minds in philosophy actually preceded each other. Socrates was a mentor to Plato who in turn mentored Aristotle. Alexander the Great is known to have been the protégé of Aristotle. Christian faith has spread its wings thanks to the preachings of St. Paul setting another good example of mentorship. Rapper Dr. Dre in the music industry has been a great mentor to numerous younger rappers like Snoop Dogg and Eminem. Late Sir Laurence Olivier, the very famous British actor has set similar mentorship in the movie industry to his protégé Sir Anthony Hopkins who has been awarded multiple times.

Fiction too has focused on mentors and protégés. The Jedi knights in the famous Star Wars series, Qui-Gon Jinn taken on Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan Kenobi mentors Anakin Skywalker; Anakin’s son Luke Skywalker is trained by Yoda. This master-padawan relationship of the Star Wars series is similar to a mentor – protégé, not really as fighting partners.

Coming to the current era, in the employment field there are formal mentoring programs to help new employees perform better. Like in new-hire mentorship, fresh employees are taken under the wings of experienced persons in the organization to help them get accustomed to the culture and environment of the company. On the other hand, in high-profile mentorship in an organization experienced senior personnel take on existing promising employees and see them progress through the company hierarchy by imparting training and knowledge.

These are just a few facts associated with mentoring. Many formal mentorship programs are available these days for people interested to learn from the wise and learned in any given field. You may find more information about them on the Internet.

There are various techniques on how to become the perfect guide to a potential follower, all of which should depend on your personal goals and how much control you are willing to give. Generally, there are three primary paths that a guide may take: mentoring, coaching, or directing.

It is always great to guide someone, but it is hardly ever easy. Experience and wisdom is necessary, in order to share knowledge. Moreover, knowing how to share this knowledge effectively, in order to be completely understood, is even more necessary. Being approachable, empowering, encouraging, and knowing how to make others feel better about themselves without treating them like children is another needed trait, as is pointing them towards the right directions in life while still enabling them to learn for themselves and from their mistakes on their way to success.

There are various techniques on how to become the perfect guide to a potential follower, all of which should depend on your personal goals and how much control you are willing to give. Generally, there are three primary paths that a guide may take: mentoring, coaching, or directing. A lot of times, these three types of guidance are combined or interchanged when in conversation or in the media, but there are several differences amongst them, however subtle, that need to be explored and ultimately understood.

Mentoring or mentorship pertains to a relationship between a mentor, who has more experience, knowledge, and wisdom and a protégé, who has less experience, is usually younger, and is sometimes uncertain and flighty. Mentors are usually more prominent and more skilled in certain areas of life than protégés. Mentors serve as teachers to protégés to guide them in becoming better in certain fields. Usually, mentors will do so by teaching through examples of the job itself while protégés are just starting out on their careers. By emulating their mentors, protégés will then have more of an idea of how they, too, can become just as successful as their mentors one day.

Coaching pertains to a guidance process, where a person who acts like a leader overlooks a group of people, or a single individual, with the aim of reaching certain goals. Coaching is different from mentoring because coaches are usually already done with their careers before they try and lead younger generations based on their own experiences. Also, coaches often only have a single goal in mind, while mentors may be more abstract and widespread with their goals. Coaching is most common when it comes to sports teams, where someone who was once a star player now helps other players in becoming successful in their own games and the goal is usually to earn as many victories by winning as many games as possible for the team.

Another known technique of coaching is known as life coaching. In this case, a successful person that is ready to retire may teach other people who wish to start their lives in work. In a deviant version of life coaching, a person who has been through fear in life may coach individuals who still live with the same particular fear and help them get over their anxieties and come out as improved individuals.

Directing pertains to a higher person’s instruction of a lower person. Mentors simply guide their protégés, but do not make orders; they point them towards the right direction, but don’t push them towards it. Coaches encourage their teams to train, but do not necessarily tell them exactly what they must do. But in directing, there is a closer definition to the relationship between a boss and an employee, most of all when the boss is ordering the lower people how their lives should be led.

There are various techniques on how to become the perfect guide to a potential follower, all of which should depend on your personal goals and how much control you are willing to give. Generally, there are three primary paths that a guide may take: mentoring, coaching, or directing.