Wouldn’t that be wonderful if you could pick your child up one day and completely house proof him against all the hard corners and edges present in your home? Cover him in some protective foam to prevent any hard knocks and bumps. Since this is completely impossible, you should start looking around and start to think of ways to make sure that your little child is in the safest environment possible.

As soon as he starts to become mobile his curiosity will lead him to explore further and further, and you can guarantee that you will not be there all the time to watch him. Even if you think that you will only leave him for a second, this will be plenty of time for him to get into mischief. It is much better to be prepared for all eventualities so there will be no surprises.

It is now more important than ever to keep floors clean, swept and vacuumed. If there is anything lying within reach of little fingers then it will undoubtedly end up in his mouth, so it is best to avoid this situation all together. It is necessary to look out for even the smallest things which can get under chairs and tables, especially small beads, seeds or tiny bits of plastic which could pose a choking hazard.

The wastepaper basket should now be relocated as this will be an endless source of fascination. If it is possible to put it in a higher location off the floor then all well and good, but if not, then simply remove it from the room for a few months. If it cannot be removed, then it will be necessary to check it periodically for your valuables and car keys which might end up inside. Posting things in the rubbish bin can be a favorite game.

Once he is crawling, then it will be useful to look a little further afield. Make sure that there is some sort of secure gate across the stairs. It is surprising how even the smallest of crawling babies will be fascinated with the stairs, and, be able to haul themselves up even if they are not quite walking in a stable way. If you will spend any time upstairs, then there should be gates at the top and bottom of the stairs. This must be a secure, baby-proof gate. Also, every member of the family must be reminded to make sure that the gates are always closed properly.

All small ornaments must be put away out of reach and any hard surfaces and corners can be covered. Most good maternity stores sell secure foam or polystyrene corner protectors for hard furniture such as tables and doors. It is also possible to get something to make sure that your doors can’t be closed properly. This makes sure that little fingers cannot be trapped. In a similar way, child-proof cupboard locks can be used to lock away ornaments and cleaning products such as bleach and detergent.

If you are careful about all these then you will provide a successful and safe environment for your child to explore.

Why is fear seen as a weakness that may threaten our child? Fear for one’s child stems from love and concern. Watchfulness, protectiveness, and a keen scent for danger are built in parental behaviors to help infants and children survive. A parent’s fear preserves the safety of a child.

Yet a parent’s fear can become a child’s handicap when it interferes with her confidence to explore and exercise her abilities. In the novel Other Women, Lisa Alther realizes that an important skill in parenting is non-interference:

Hannah saw Mona needed only to realize she was now riding the bike on her own, so she lowered her fingertips and fell back. As their fingertips touched for the last time, and brushed apart, Hannah felt a pang of joy and pride, mixed with anguish¡ªat the loss of the little girl who couldn’t ride a bicycle… As Mona rode back, her eyes bright with triumph, Hannah first understood that parenting was a series of such small daily deaths, and that learning to let go of your charges was as crucial as learning to take them on.

Forbidding a child to ride a bike, or roller skate, or climb high on a jungle gym, may protect her from a scrape or a tumble, but it also denies her the chance to exercise the competence and care she may in fact have. If we repeatedly drive a child to school, or walk her to a neighborhood friend’s house, we may be protecting her, but we are also teaching her to remain dependent. By telling her she is “too little” or “too young,” we may be inadvertently telling her that she is incapable, and deny her the pleasure of learning to do things herself¡ªwhich is precisely what she needs self-esteem for. We need to check our inappropriate fears.

Just as parents socially reward children, children socially reward us as parents: by doing what is asked of them having a generally cheerful disposition, smiling and laughing, acting excited and happy when they see us, showing affection, and imitating our behavior – in short, by making us feel needed and loved.

As children grow into the teenage years there is often a marked change in their world of social rewards. They have many friends at school, an entire social structure outside the social rewards more than those at home. Parents often wonder what happened. They feel that their children no longer consider them so important. There may he some truth in this but if parents give a lot of social rewards (even to teenagers), it is reasonable to expect that teenagers will reciprocate. Teenagers can socially reward parents by showing affection (although perhaps toned-down), having a sense of humour, talking about their lives, showing interest in what their parents are doing, and not treating them as if they were horribly old-fashioned.

Finally, this principle applies not only between parents and children but is true with any two individuals, brother and sister, husband and wife, employer and employee, or friends.