How to Get the Help You Need with Your New Baby

If you are expecting a baby, it’s a good idea to plan ahead to have someone help you during the first few weeks after the baby is born. Even if you will be staying home with the baby full-time, new babies can be very demanding, and you may need some help to take care of the baby and keep up with the house.

The easiest place to look for help is from your husband if you are married. Hopefully he will be willing to help not only with the baby but with the housework as well. However, you may find that you still need additional help, especially if your husband comes home from work already tired. He might not have the energy to provide all of the help you need.

Your extended family members are the next option. Many times, new grandparents, aunts and uncles will be excited about the new baby and willing to come help out after the birth. Whether grandma is watching the baby while you try to get some housework done or washing the dishes for you while you feed the baby, help from relatives can take some of the burden off the new mom’s shoulders.

If you don’t have family members nearby, you might ask some of your friends if they can help out now and then. They may be willing to hold the baby while you try to get caught up on some of the housework or even take a nap. Don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. They may be excited about the chance to play with your baby. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Another option is to hire a mother’s helper. A mother’s helper is someone who helps out with either the baby or the housework while the mother is in the home. Mother’s helpers can often be hired through childcare agencies. You might also be able to find a teenage girl who is willing to take on this job. Ask around among your friends and neighbors to find out if anyone knows a good babysitter. This person may be a good mother’s helper as well.

Bringing your newborn home is both exciting and scary. Here are some tips for getting through that wonderful, exhausting first week and beyond.

Unbuckling the car seat for the first time it hits you – this precious baby is yours. Yours to love and yours to care for. Bringing your newborn into your home is exciting, but scary as well. This little baby is such a big responsibility.

The pregnancy was long, labor and delivery were long, only the hospital stay was short. The exhaustion is starting to sink in. As a pediatric nurse visiting newborns and their parents at home, I see parents who are tired and often overwhelmed. No one is ever really prepared for the 24 hour life: the round-the-clock care of a newborn. Wonderful and unique as this time is, it is exhausting. Some moms have family and friends nearby for help and support, but many are completely on their own. If you need help, here are some tips and information to get you through the next few weeks.

Rest

Grab rest when you can. It sounds easy and obvious, but isn’t. Gone are 6-8 hours of sleep a night. A newborn needs to be feed several times a night; diapers need changing, and this little person needs loving and comforting. Lack of sufficient nighttime sleep means trying during the day to do some catching-up. Take friends and family up on their offers of help. Maybe they can bring a meal for the freezer or pick up something at the grocery store on their way over to visit. Maybe one person could empty the dish washer or clean up the dishes that are still on the counter from several days ago when you left for the hospital. No one person needs to do everything, but if several people each do a little, your life can be a lot easier.

If you are more on your own, try to focus just on those things that need immediate attention. Rest whenever the baby is sleeping. Even some time spent lying on the sofa listening to soft, relaxing music is helpful. Let the answering machine screen your calls, or at least don’t answer the phone when you are resting. Getting rest allows your body to heal. It helps you be more relaxed and patient, to feel more like yourself. Taking time for yourself is not being selfish, it is allowing you to be a better parent.

Caring for Mom

While both Mom and Dad are exhausted from the new schedule, Mom also has her own healing to do. Rest is essential for healing. Time is now the most valuable, yet scarcest resource. If you have another child, this is a good time to sit together on the sofa for some reading, or to ease up on TV time restrictions and lie down on the couch while the older sibling watches a video, or has an indoor picnic on a large tablecloth. When done just gather up the cloth and shake outside.

Are you feeding yourself as well as the baby? All new moms need plenty of fluids, but if you are breast-feeding make sure you have a glass of water or juice every time you nurse. Good nutrition plays an important role in your healing, so eat a good balance of protein, fruits, vegetables and grains. Many new moms complain of not having enough time to eat because they are so busy with the baby, but caring for your own needs allows you to heal faster and give you more inner resources with which to care for this new life.

The vaginal flow after delivery is called lochia. In the beginning it is quite bloody, and small (dime-sized) clots are not uncommon. Large clots (quarter-sized), going through more than one pad an hour, or dizziness should be reported to your physician. As the days pass, the flow should decrease. If you notice an increase in amount of flow, or of bright red blood, you are doing more than your body can handle right now. This is a signal for you to back off, do less, and ask for more help.