A child is anxious because she believes that she will not be able to understand what is expected of her. She follows the lead of others and allows them to determine her activities because, in her view, they know more, have better judgment, and should have more say. At school, too, she lacks confidence. She may panic when confronted with a new lesson or a new topic because she does not expect that she will be able to learn. Whereas other children exult in adventure, she avoids risks because she does not expect that she can rise to a challenge. Fearful of risks, she is rigid in her ways and rejects introduction of new material or new approaches. She finds it difficult to work independently because she does not trust her own judgment.

Such anxious children may feel as though they do not fully understand what is expected of them and where they go wrong.

Marissa, age ten, is frozen by other children’s strangely acquired knowledge of how to treat their peers. “When someone comes up to me, all I can think is: What do I do now?’ Other kids just talk, like they get into a conversation. I just panic.”

Hilda, age eleven, is oppressed by her inability to measure her father’s expectations. “Sometimes what I do is just right, you know, perfect-couldn’t-be-better sort of thing. Then I’ll do what I think is the same, but it turns out to be wrong or bad or real disappointing. So if s like I don’t know what I’ve done until he says something. I can’t say what it is myself you see.”

Kevin, age twelve, said that there seems to be “lots of layers of gauze between [him] and what goes on in the classroom.” Other children, he thinks, have direct access to instructions and information offered by the teacher and other children, while he feels that “more than half of what’s said” is incomprehensible.