It is hard watching our parents get older. They have always been so vibrant and alive but as they get older they slow down and eventually come to a complete stop. When this happens we find ourselves with a dilemma. We have to decide if we are capable of taking care of ourselves or if they need more constant care. This is a tough decision to make.

In the past this was not even a choice, it was just what you did if it became necessary. No one ever thought twice about what was going to happen to their parents when they became elderly and needed our help. They knew that they would bring them into their homes and welcome them with open arms.

Sometimes family members would even fight over who got to take care of them. Back then our elderly family members were not considered a burden. They were treasures with information and wisdom that you wanted passed on to your children. We wanted to keep them close until their final day.

Now taking your elderly parent into your home to live is an over-whelming task. The roles are now reversed. You have to take on the responsibilities of the parent to your own parents. They will need you to do the things for them that they used to do for you. The task of feeding and cleaning up after them now falls on you.

You may find that your parents are not completely able to care for themselves the way they used to but that they don’t really need to be looked after on a constant basis. In this case you may be able to find someone who can just go to their home and spend time with them and help with the things they are finding difficult to do. This person may be a family member or someone you have to hire to look after them. Either way they will be able to stay in their own homes where they feel safe and secure.

As much as we may not like it if our parents have become completely incapable of taking care of themselves and we are not able to do it for them the choice is down to a nursing home.

We have all heard horror stories about some of these places. We have heard how the residents are left uncared for and ignored or even blatantly abused. There are good places out there. You will have to do the research and find the right place. It is probably best if you can find one that is close to the most family members so that you can all visit regularly.

Whatever choice you make it will be a difficult one. Any adjustment is hard on someone who is elderly and has been doing the same things in the same place for a very long time. Be patient and everyone will adjust to the new situation.