If a child has uncontrolled anger management issues then these can be a problem not only for them, but for the whole family too. Everyone in the family suffers no matter whether it is a small child or toddler who has this problem or whether it is a teenager.
Parents must recognize whether anger management is going to become a problem in their lives early on. If their tiny baby is having a problem controlling his anger then it can seem to be a trivial matter, but if left unchecked, this problem will keep growing and growing and growing.
Young children, it has to be said, are very good at manipulating their peers and particularly their parents. They know how to push just the right buttons and they know how to play one parent off against the other. Unless the parents present a united front to the child, then the child will soon learn when they can get their way, either by whining and moaning for endless hours, or by having a tantrum. These tantrums can occur anywhere from the living room floor, to the middle of the nearest toy store. If they see that they can have an effect at all by having an outburst of anger, then they will try it.
The parent’s reaction is often one of acute embarrassment and the need to shush the child up as quickly as possible and get out of there as fast as possible. Most people will be faced with this situation at least once a week because none of us has the luxury of being able to leave our little loved one somewhere, so they have to come shopping with us.
The key to management of this type of behavior is to 1. Be Consistent and 2. Plan Ahead. Being consistent is very difficult. If you say ‘no’ to something, then you both have to stick to it, and not give in. Children will try anything if they want something from you and having a tantrum in the middle of aisle five is just one of their weapons. Remember, ‘No’ means ‘no’. If they see that it never works and once you have said it there is no going back, then they will save their energy. If sometimes you mean ‘maybe’, sometimes you forget and buy them a treat, or you feel guilty etc, then they will wind you round their little finger. Planning ahead means you could all eat first before going shopping so there is no begging for sweets. You could promise them a treat if they first do this one thing, or you can involve them in shopping by getting them to write the list, etc.
Teenage anger is a little more difficult to deal with. Brooding silences, sulking behavior, or shouting and door slamming are just some of the things which come with the territory. With teenage anger management, it is first important to know what they are angry about. Their anger may be displaced, so that even they do not know what it is about. In order to be in a position to do this, you have to talk to them. So that when they are shouting and screaming at you about forgetting to wash their favorite t-shirt, you might have an idea that they have just had a disappointing test result, or been turned down for the track team. The better relationship you have with them before their teenage years, the better you will be prepared. Good Luck!