Like Marmee in Little Women, we wish we could offer our children a fairer world: Given our limited power, we nonetheless hope that we will raise them to make the world a better place. To do so, we have to raise children who are caring, socially responsible, fair-minded, and respectful of others. In this final [...]

Why is fear seen as a weakness that may threaten our child? Fear for one’s child stems from love and concern. Watchfulness, protectiveness, and a keen scent for danger are built in parental behaviors to help infants and children survive. A parent’s fear preserves the safety of a child.
Yet a parent’s fear can become a [...]

A child is anxious because she believes that she will not be able to understand what is expected of her. She follows the lead of others and allows them to determine her activities because, in her view, they know more, have better judgment, and should have more say. At school, too, she lacks confidence. She [...]

Until the age of four or five, children take for granted that they are who they are and that others are how they ought to be. They may not be happy with the way things are, but they accept them as normal or inevitable. Though younger children also make comparisons between themselves and others, these [...]

A funeral is an occasion when adults can say their last goodbyes and start the process of resolution. A child eight years or older has the same need to grieve as their parents, and should be encouraged to attend. The six- to eight-year-old has less to gain, but while not essential, it’s best to include [...]

The purpose of a contract is to provide an agreement which clearly specifies the behavior expected and the rewards that can be earned. It is written in simple language (or pictures for small children), is displayed publicly, and helps the parties involved remember the terms of the agreement. Often such an agreement is posted somewhere [...]

Imagine this situation: Mum and Dad have two young children. At the end of the day, Dad comes home, hoping to watch the six o’clock news. The children are running about, making a lot of noise. Dad calls out to Mum in the other room. ‘You’re at home with these children all the time. Can’t [...]

Just as parents socially reward children, children socially reward us as parents: by doing what is asked of them having a generally cheerful disposition, smiling and laughing, acting excited and happy when they see us, showing affection, and imitating our behavior – in short, by making us feel needed and loved.
As children grow into [...]

What kinds of material rewards do you value? The list might include a nice home, clothes, jewelry, cars, perfume, and boats – just about anything money will buy! Of course children have their prized rewards too: sweets, biscuits, dolls, toys. Material rewards (as we use the term) are tangible objects that have some economic value.
There [...]

None of us would like to be called a ‘miser’. It suggests someone stingy or selfish. But misers are not just the Ebenezer Scrooges who hoard money. Any of us can qualify as a ’social reward miser’. The necessary characteristics are:
I. Rarely show genuine interest in others;
2. Do not laugh with others;
3. Be cynical about [...]